For name’s sake!

Sorry for the lack of blog updates folks, but I’ve been busy messing about in a nook of the UK with little or no internet access for my friend’s baptism of his youngest child. But now I am back in the dust bowl of Dubai, amidst a honking great sand storm: Welcome back indeed! A stark contrast in fact to the day of baby Reggie’s baptism – the roaring rain and filthy grey clouds. But as wee Reg left the church that day, a little damp from his visit to the font and at one with the mighty man from upstairs, I cast a thought to the honesty of his classic title – just like my very own…

Funnily enough, if I just so happened to have been a girl I was to be named Debbie and, so I am told, Peregrine – in the event of me being a boy. But, by the time I exited bum last to the sunshine of Shropshire, my parents had decided against my Nan’s initial and somewhat eccentric suggestion of Peregrine and opted instead for Jonathan. Nowadays though, parents seem less concerned about the impact a silly name will have on their children, with reports of toddlers by the names of Pilot, Seagull, Afternoon, L’Oreal, CNBC, @ and IKEA now walking among us. The trend to bestow ridiculous names on our little ones as clearly reached a new height, to the point that I now wonder what all the fuss was about; me being named Peregrine.

But not everyone is willing to let traditional standards slip; the Malaysian authorities in particular putting their size 11s down, banning parents from enlisting such names as Hitler and 007. Nor are they able to call their babies after insects, fruit, vegetables, colours or countries. They’ve even gone so far as to ban parents from using Japanese car brand names for their children.

In light of this iron stance it comes as a shock to learn that Lotus are sticking with the name Evora for their latest sports car endeavour. From what has been reported, Lotus claims that it is a made up name, which is probably why the Malaysian majority shareholder Proton let it slide without too much of a fuss. But I have since learned that it is in fact a city and a municipality in Portugal.

This I see could cause some calamitous concern with the mighty moguls from Malaysia, so I called up Rob (the king of classic names) who gallantly jumped in to save the day by suggesting to Lotus that they change the name of their sports car – quick sharpish – before anyone notices. …but they weren’t too keen on a Lotus called Eric. So thinking on my feet I came up with the Lotus Ecdysiast – which, if you ask me, is what it should have been named right from the word go: Lotus disagreed!